This post was originally published on Wix: July 27, 2020

I’m tired.

Tired of living an excessive life.

Piles. Totes.

This is what my life has been reduced to.

I open cabinets and sippy cups, water bottles, lids come propelling at my head. I slam the pan cabinet just fast enough so that my toes don’t see the same fate.

Why do we have so much STUFF? It’s meaningless.

Having more and more, it’s what we are supposed to do right? You can’t have enough? The constant pressue of the world to buy, buy, buy. The pressue to fit in with the right people. To look the right way. That’s why everyone” shops at Target, right? To have that “look”- to fit the part.

I’m done. I’m exhausted.

The Stuff. It’s all too much..

I ask myself why the anxiety has become so high?

It all started with the babies. I needed the best things because I was going to raise my kids better. Better than what? I’m not sure. All I know is that with the perfect things, my babies will have a wonderful life.

It’s sad, I know. These weren’t well thought out plans, just an impression of myself I see looking back. A worried soon-to-be mom, looking to raise her kids the best she could in a messed up and scary world.

But the things, they didn’t make raising my kids any easier. If I’m honest, tripping over all the STUFF. Moving it. Re-packing it for the next Maybe baby. It was all just too much.

So I’m here. Two babies later. In a house that’s overflowing.

I cry. I cry for all the things I needed from this STUFF that I never got. A feeling of doing this right. A sense of having it all together. A confidence that everything would be okay.

Mommas- these things don’t come from STUFF.

Clearly, we all know this. Our heads do anyways. Our hearts, they are another story. They are searching for meaning and fulfillment in all the places and all the things we invest ourselves into.

Do yourselves a favor mommas. Don’t be like me. Take the time to self-reflect. Yes, as mom’s, I know we don’t have much of it.

BUT if we don’t take the time…We will end up finding meaning in all the wrong places. Trust me, I did.